This is something I have questioned for a long time. And by a long time, I mean my entire existence at University. I started my post-high school education with a year off, and settled into study in 2013. I finished the year feeling like i had run a marathon. Juggling two degrees and everything else that comes along with it proved difficult but hey, i did it. And despite the tears and frustration, I somehow thought I'd enrol and do it all again this year. So here I am, mid-way through my third semester and I want to throw in the towel.
It's not that I hate my degrees, in fact I enjoy parts of them both. It's something else. I just want to be elsewhere. So here I am, stuck between finishing my degree so I can graduate with my peers, or taking some time to be away from it all. I've had many internal wars with myself: "suck it up," "if you don't like it, don't do it," "just get on with it," "you need a degree," "if you give up you fail" "give yourself time" and so on.
And then I went to Sydney. And for whatever reason, it was like one day I literally woke up and realised that at age twenty, I can do what I need to do.
Am i allowed to take a break, though it may set me back a semester? Yes. Am I allowed to take a break, though it may set me back a year? Yes. Am I allowed to take breaks? Yes, yes, yes.
If waking up to the thought of sitting in a two hour tute makes your skin crawl, and has done so for months, why should you rack up a debt and push through it? And please, do not see this blog post as a "I hate university" post, because it really is not. I, myself, have found a few of my courses to be interesting, and I know many that adore their degree. And you know what? They will make wonderful journalists, doctors, teachers, physios, dentists, because they are loving what they've studied, and they will love what they will do. But on the contrary to that, I know so many who despise their degrees. So this post is a reminder to anyone who may feel remotely similar to me: you are allowed to take a break and figure some things out, you are able to choose a different path any time you think you might need to. Be kinder to yourself.