I just finished up a big weekend shooting and consequently I've spent most of the day thinking it's Monday. And then the other part thinking it's Wednesday. I'm disorientated to say the least. I thought it was still March for a little bit there too. Wait, what, it's April? I get the keys to my place next Tuesday? No, wait! I'm not ready! And so goes the internal monologue. After writing a post about management, I feel defeated. For a while yesterday I felt like I'd kind of let myself dow; like I'm dropping the balls. I had 8 in the air for a good 2 days! And now look! 6 are crashing down.
But here's the thing. I'm a fixer. My personality is the kind that looks at every situation and has me thinking: okay, relax, what can you do about it? I'm good at damage control. Especially when it's not my damage. I can leap into action and generally fix things; with love, with banana bread, with advice and the best way I know how. I am trying to teach myself to do this with my own situations.
So I'm sitting in the car yesterday, and I still don't really understand what day it is and I think to myself: you've dropped the balls, but how do we pick them up and make it all work better next time? There is a lesson for me in this. There always is. And that's why I am writing this down.
That is what growth is all about. Without my mistakes, without yours, without the things we say we won't do but do anyway, how can we teach ourselves a lesson? How can I teach myself to refine my methods without royally screwing them up to begin with? My growth is forever the product of what I have learned. So yes, I've dropped the balls this week. But I'm going to make it better & I will grow from this. For me it starts with being finely in tune with exactly how I am feeling. So take that disorientation, and that frazzled feeling and spend time grounding myself. I sat in my car for 30 minutes today and sipped my coffee in silence. I needed my own thoughts and today was not the day to edit and drink coffee. This was a just drink it in peace day. I also needed dark chocolate and a blank sheet of paper to write out priorities. Find what you need, and play into that. It's the best way to recover.
So if you're wondering where I am over Easter, I am taking my time. I am probably planting my feet in sand, and drinking coffee slowly. I am working away slowly and efficiently. I am doing my very best. I'm picking up the balls and finding my rhythm again. Carry on.